'Three Letters & Six Etiquettes'
Teasing games in the bridal chamber: After night falls, the teasing games
begin. Usually, all young men can participate in the games except the wife's
married brothers-in-law. The funny and silly games help ease the tension since,
traditionally, the newlyweds have never met before the wedding. Most of the
games require the shy couple to act like an experienced wife and husband. The
festive atmosphere also promotes closeness among family members and the
community. Other activities conducted by the husband's mother ensue after the
commotion dies down.
Preparing the bridal bed: A "good luck man" who usually comes from a good
family will help install the bridal bed in the bridal chamber before the
wedding. A "good luck woman" will also prepare the bedding and scatter symbolic
and lucky fruit on the bed. No one is allowed near the bed before the couple
enters the bridal chamber after the wedding ceremony. Children will then be
invited onto the bed to bless the couple with fertility.
Dowry: Usually, the bride's dowry will be sent to the bridegroom's family
before the wedding day, sometimes delivered by the bride's escorts. A
traditional dowry normally consists of valuable items such as jewelry,
embroidered bedding, kitchen utensils and furniture. The type of dowry is
constantly changing, except for the basic, symbolic items. For example, dozens
of years ago, a sewing machine, a bicycle and a recorder were musts in a
marriage. Today, they are completely out of fashion.
Bride's return: Traditionally, the newlyweds must return to visit the bride's
parents one or three days after the wedding. They will be hailed with a banquet,
and now it is the husband's turn to be teased by his wife's relatives and
friends.
Traditional marriage customs have lost some of their appeal due to the
collapse of feudal society and the complexities of traditional marriage customs.
However, traditional marriages are still observed in the countryside, despite
the innovations. Today, traditional marriage customs are being revived in some
places, attracting many prospective couples.
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